I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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