I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
