Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
