The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
