Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
