She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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