I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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