he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
