And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my shit smells like andre
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize