good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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