Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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