I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
