Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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