so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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