Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
where does the pee come out of this thing
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They are going to name an STD after you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
