ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
