Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
