omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
