Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
