She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
