If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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