We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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