dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
