You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
