Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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