Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
