I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
