That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
