Please, let me fuck your mom
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
