if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize