I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
