We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
