brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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