Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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