i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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