found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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