I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
