I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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