fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
