Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize