You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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