the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
