ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize