I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize