let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
