So drunk its hurt
Where is the hickey?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
