What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
