Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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