If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
