I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize