Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
