i think my tv is drunk
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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