Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
