Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
