Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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