I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
