He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
