Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
