Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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