I heard we made out
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
only you would photoshop your dick
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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