i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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