I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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