dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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