I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
