she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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